Baby Steps
by Ladybug-Jojo
Summary: ugh hate summeries so much: Alicia faints in court and finds something out that leaves her shocked. I would have loved to be able to add more than two genres, as all of these fits: Family, Romance, Drama, Angst, humor and probably some hurt/comfort too...
1. Ch 1: Come What May

_Okay __much __debating __if __I __should__ or __shouldn't __do __this __story. __Steffi __however __loved __the __idea, __so __I __wrote __it __down, __originally __it __was __intended __as __a __oneshot __but __thank__s to __Steffi __I __have __now __already __started __doing __research __in __case __I __and __others __want __me __to __continue __this. __I __have __never __been __more __worried __over __doing __a __story __than __this __one, __but __it __kept __hunting __me __after __re-watching __parts __of __Judging __Amy. __And __reading __Milly's __comments, __so __if __you __like __it __thank __her, __if __you __don't __well __when __I __am __sorry._

_Also __if __you __want __me __to __continue __please __let __me __know __I __can __be __convinced, __one __thing __if __continued __it __won't __be __all __happy __fluff __if __that __is __what __you __want... __because __doing __research __on __this __subject __showed __me __very __few __would __find __this __all __happiness __and __sunshine._

_#the story probably will be continued as I have already started chapter 2.  
_

_I __don't __own __the __Good __Wife._

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**Baby Steps**

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_**Come **__**What **__**May**_

The moment he had gotten the call he had felt like he was about to faint in cold dark fear for her. Alicia fainting in court, in the middle of a trial and having to be taken to the hospital. He had felt as someone had pieced his heart with a silver blade of cold metal intending on hurting him where he felt it the most. The next moment he had grabbed his jacket and rushed out of the office on his way to the hospital calling out to Eli that he needed to go and Alicia was in the hospital and he better keep all reporters off because he wanted nothing to disturb Alicia. He raced to the hospital as fast as he could, really not caring if he got pulled over or got a ticket, he could deal with that later, what he cared about was the fact that his wife was ill - so ill that she had fainted. He should have said something when he woke up to the sound of her throwing up this morning after yet another of their sleepovers, but she had said she was fine and it was the sushi she and the kids had gone out for last night. It had been a place with those out on a desk and you could point at the pieces you wanted. She was sure she had just gotten a bad piece. That had been her argument and he had accepted it, after all that was their deal, they were having sex, sometimes dinners and talking but not more. He was to leave because the kids couldn't see him when they got up. So he had nodded and told her to take it easy, but left. Now he regretted that, he should have taken her to see a doctor right away, even if he had needed to drag her there against her will - he should have done so. Because something was clearly wrong when she would faint suddenly and need to go to the hospital. He parked the car and rushed in, only realizing at that point that he had no idea where she was. He went to the front-desk and asked them to look up Alicia Elizabeth Florrick, well technically he barked more than asked but it worked and he didn't have time to wait on the usual slowness these things could be taking. As soon as he had room and floor number he rushed off, cursing himself for not figuring out that of course she would be in the E.R. and that he had lost time on that. He found it and found where he had been told she would be, and rightly he found her, there - in the middle of pulling out her IV-drop while she was furiously telling a nurse she didn't need it she just wanted to go home. And she could drink her own water she didn't need the drop.

"Alicia maybe you should keep it in, just to be on the safe side." He heard a male voice say, and looked right over to be met with the sight of Will Gardner. _What the hell was he doing here? And why the fuck was he allowed in here with Alicia?_ Oh well at least he was telling Alicia the exact same thing Peter himself would tell her now.

"You need to keep that drop in, Alicia." He said out loud, making the other three people on this side of the curtain look at him.

"Peter..." Alicia let out a relieved sigh. "Can you please tell the nurse I don't need this and take me home?" She smiled at him sweetly, batting her eyes at him. Damn she looked like Grace when she did this, or at least he knew where their daughter got it from. Peter almost snorted at her clever game, she was used to it these days that he would agree and accept whatever she wanted and asked for and clearly she hoped it was the case now as well.

"I will do no such thing, Alicia. In fact there is a better chance of me tying you down to the bed to make you keep the IV in and not pull it out." He told her, before turning to the nurse who looked more than a little confused. "What is wrong with my wife?" He asked making the nurse look even more confused and uncomfortable.

"Your wife? But I thought you were the husband... since Dr. Walsh told me to it was okay you stayed..." She said as she looked at Will. Who clearly looked rather uncomfortable too.

"Alicia asked me to stay in case they couldn't get a hold on you and she needed someone to drive her home. I had no idea they thought that." He mumbled, when he saw how Peter sneered at him. Okay that he got, and he was actually glad Alicia had not been left alone, still he hated Will Gardner and if that the other man had used his name to be allowed to stay in Alicia's room_ that would NOT have been okay at all._

"Peter it's nothing serious. I just fainted because I've been dehydrated nothing more. I just want to go home. I had them call you but feared you were in a meeting so Will stayed in case I needed a ride. But now you are here, will you please just take me home?" Alicia explained, pulling all eyes back on her, and smiling at Peter as she begged with him.

"Okay Mrs. Florrick no signs of food poisoning as you thought it might be." A female voice said behind Peter. He looked back and saw a tall redhead joining them. She looked surprised to see yet another person in the room.

"I am sorry sir. But only family members are allowed in here." She told him.

"It's my husband Peter Florrick." Alicia explained before Peter could raise his voice.

"Florrick... oh... OH... I am sorry Mr. State's Attorney, of course, my mistake." She said looking at Peter.

"It's fine I would much rather have that you told me what is wrong with my wife." Peter said with a pointed look.

"Well, Nina let me take over then." She told the nurse who hurried out.  
"Okay, Mrs. Florrick" she said. "You thought it might just be food poisoning earlier when you came in. But the tests just came back and it is clearly not. Have you been feeling unwell other than the throwing up this morning as you told us about?" the doctor looked at Alicia.

"Umm I have been nauseous the last few days a few times, and throw up yesterday morning too, but I am sure I was just coming down with the flu and that is also what made me pass out." Alicia told her.

The doctor nodded.

"That is very possible. How are you feeling now, any headache or anything else? There is a flu going around so it certainly could be that." She looked at Alicia.

"Have you checked her head? She passed out! What if she hit her head?" Peter asked annoyed.

"Peter..." Alicia gave him a pointed look of annoyance.

"I did Mr. Florrick. Nothing to worry about, she has a slight concussion but nothing serious. I am more focused on why she passed out. But if that is really all, my guess is that you are coming down with the flu and were just dehydrated." She said smiling at Alicia as she opened Alicia's charts, going over them.

"A concussion? And you say that is okay." Peter was getting angry again. "You better make sure it really is just the flu." He mumbled.

"A lot of people at work have been ill from the flu lately, it would be easy for Alicia to have caught it." Will stepped in and added, smiling at Alicia. But he got an angry look from Peter, telling him to stay out of this.

"It most likely is. Though Mrs. Florrick there are a few things it seems the nurse forgot to ask you. Umm would you rather do this in private?" The doctor looked from Alicia to the two men.

"I will rather just get it over with, so I can go home. And Peter will never believe it really is just the flu if he doesn't know you did every possible test so what is it?" Alicia asked slightly annoyed.

"Very well... are you sexually active?" The doctor asked, making all three others cough in surprise.

"Excuses me?" Alicia finally asked. Will looked rather uncomfortable, and Peter gave him an annoyed look. If the guy could not take hearing this about Alicia, he should just leave, after all she was not alone anymore, _so __why __hadn't __he __left __already_?

"Are you sexually active Mrs. Florrick?" The doctor asked again, making Alicia look down and then nod.

"Yes I am." She said finally, not surprising Peter - _after __all __he __had __been __with __her __just __last __night_. But the look on Will's face clearly spoke of surprise and hurt. _Well __Gardner, __maybe __you __should __rather __leave __now_, Peter thought to himself, but at the same time he understood the other man, if this had been a little over a year ago he would have been in Will's position and he would have hated it just as much, and he was most likely only still here because he wanted to make sure Alicia was alright and not seriously ill.

"Okay, do you always use protection?" Peter stared at the doctor, _what __the __hell __were __these __kind __of __questions, __what __the __hell __was __she __getting __at?_ He looked at Alicia who looked pretty uncomfortable too.

"I am on the pill yes." She said, looking at Peter quickly. He knew she was on the pill, she had gone on it a few weeks after Thanksgiving, because searching for a condom every time especially in his office or the trailer was not that comfortable, and they were not about to be as risky as they had been on Thanksgiving - that had been the only time they had not been using any protection at all. So she went on the pill and told him shortly after. It had really made this whole thing a lot easier, plus the few weeks of suddenly using condoms had felt very weird having been married so long.

"Umm Alicia I think I will be leaving. I think it's safe to say you got the rest of the week off for the concussion, get better soon and take care." Will told her.

Alicia nodded softly.

"Thank you Will, and thank you for waiting. It was sweet of you." She gave him a gentle and apologizing smile. Will nodded and hurried out of the place.

"Okay, so do you take it the same time every night and have you ever forgotten one?" The doctor asked gently.

Okay now she was starting to worry Peter, _did __she __actually __think __Alicia __was __pregnant, __was __that __what __she __was __getting __at?_

"No I take it like I should...if I didn't I would use condoms." Alicia looked down and away. Peter hated seeing her like this, put on the spot and sad and without thinking he walked over to her and took her hand in his, caressing it lightly, making her look up at him, her eyes filled with worry.

"Okay good... have you been ill sometimes after having taken it? Like throwing up?" Dr. Walsh asked Alicia.

"No, never." Alicia asked shaking her head.

"Okay, have you taken any meds for colds or flu? Or anything like that?" She asked as she wrote something more down.

"Umm, I had a cold about 6 weeks ago where I took some meds." She said, trying to remember what she had used.

"Can you remember what, it is okay if you can't it just would be helpful." The woman smiled at them both.

"I think it was some nature meds I had gotten Grace I use the rest of. St. something?" Alicia mumbled.

"St. Johns Wort?" The woman asked.

"Yes, that." Alicia said looking confused, as the doctor nodded. "Is something wrong with using that? Is that what is making me ill now? Having used that?" Alicia asked worried and scared.

"No not at all, the problem is it lowers the efficiency of birth control pills."

"I didn't know, I had no idea it would work like that." She explained, both to him and the doctor, but it was him her eyes were apologizing to. He just squeezed her hand softly.

"Not your fault." He whispered to her. She nodded and looked at the doctor again.

"Okay, when was your last period?" The doctor asked gently, looking at both of them.

"My last period... I can't remember I have been very stressed I think... I had it just before I went to Minnesota that is... January... 7 weeks." She finally concluded her eyes growing large and worried.

Peter tried to count back too, he didn't see her much more but he did know he cycles, and they had been sleeping together back then already and he did remember her telling him not to come over a few times around that time, finally admitting she couldn't because of her period. Peter had ended up bringing her dinner and she had helped him with a speech for his next campaign trip. Peter had loved that moment between them because it was one of those moments in this whole thing where he felt they were once more really close to each other without the sex. Now however he was cursing himself for not thinking about it again, and how there had been no such thing again since back then.

"Okay... I'll call Nina in here again. I think we will need to draw some blood, Mrs. Florrick." Dr. Walsh told her gently.

"You think I am pregnant? I can't be... I can't be pregnant... I mean I am 44 years old, I have two children that are teenagers. I can't be pregnant... I can't be." Alicia whispered again and again, with each word she spoke Peter could hear her voice growing closer to hysteria and tears. And he had to admit to himself in case it was true it was anything but convenient, though a small part deep inside of him smiled at the thought of seeing Alicia pregnant once more. Holding a baby in his arms again, Alicia's child. A little girl looking just like her mother. With green eyes, and dark brown hair that curled around her head. Okay, he loved the thought of that more than a little, plus no matter how much of a turn on working Alicia was to him. Alicia with their kids was what made his heart swell and beat faster. However, he could see she was getting worked up over this and he knew that was no good for her and their possible child. So he squeezed her hand, rubbing the back of it, trying to calm her down.

"Yes. Mrs. Florrick, I think it's possible. However I won't know until I have run your blood. And it could be many other things too... but I would like to rule it out." She smiled at Alicia and Peter and went to find the nurse again. Alicia looked worriedly up at him.

"I can't be... Peter I can't... it's... it's too much..." She whispered, scared. He nodded.

"I know Alicia... I know... but now calm down. We don't know anything for sure yet, as she said it could be many other things." He told her just as nurse Nina returned, smiling at them both.

"So let's get this over with, I should run a few other things for you while I am at it, like your blood percent, your ion numbers and similar things, just to be sure. Those could just as well be what is making you feel ill Mrs. Florrick." the nurse told her with a smile as she started to get her things together. Alicia held out her arm and turned her face way.

"Hey... it will be alright. And yes Babe I know you hate having your blood work done. Just don't think about it, or look over at it." He told Alicia tenderly as he caressed her cheek. "Umm... Nina? Are there any chance you would be able to do the tests on my wife under some other name?" He asked, knowing if Alicia really was pregnant and this got out it would be hell, and he didn't want the press to force her hand in whatever choice she might make regarding this.

Nina looked up at him and smiled.

"You don't have to worry, Mr. Florrick. When Dr. Walsh realized who you are she told me the same thing regarding these tests. She got a call earlier from someone while out, asking her to make you a . -patient or rather ordered you be upgraded according to her, by a Mr. Gold or something."

This made Alicia and Peter shake their heads, though they were pleased that he had thought of this to protect their privacy.

"Now Mrs. Florrick or should I say, Mrs. Doe, if you feel bad because of blood work you should rather concentrate on your very charming husband." Her words made Alicia glare to the side at her, her eyes suddenly cold.

"Oh don't worry dear I don't swing that way, but if I did your husband is a fine looking man, but you got nothing to worry about. But I am going to take your blood now." She smiled at Alicia. Alicia looked confused until she realized what the other woman meant, as she turned to Peter, who had a hard time to keep himself from laughing. He was a little pleased that even with everything between them, Alicia sure didn't like when other women showed any interest in him. "You got nothing to worry about my eyes are on you only." He told her gently, squeezing her hand at the same time as he saw her eyes change because Nina had punctured her vein, drawing her blood.

She gave him a half smile.

"Really, Dr. Walsh was rather attractive, high with her red hair and a nice smile." Alicia commented.

"She's got nothing on you babe. Nothing." He told her stroking her cheek softly, he knew he had said the right thing when he saw Alicia smile gently at his words. Once more he hated himself for what he had done to her in the past, how he had made her doubt his love and attraction to her so much. How she now had such a hard time trusting he really only wanted her, and would always only want her in the future. She looked down after blushing a little.

"So, all done. I will leave you two alone. We'll get a room upstairs for you, Mrs. Florrick for the night, after all you do have a concussion and we have yet to find out what is wrong with you." She smiled at them.

An half hour later they were in a private room upstairs, much to Alicia's displeasure. She kept telling Peter, she just wanted to go home and they could call her with the damn test results. She had begged him to take her home, explaining there was no reason for her to stay, that it would do no good that she stayed overnight. Even bringing up the kids, and how she needed to go home to them.

She had not been pleased when he said he had already called Owen, wincing at the thought of the phone conversation with his brother in law, and asked him to stay with the kids at Alicia's place because she was in the hospital for some tests. She then went on explaining how the kids would have questions and they shouldn't be alone with them, until Peter told her he had already talked with both Zach and Grace too while she changed into the hospital robes in the bathroom, just before he had talked with Owen. Alicia was annoyed but got into the bed and laid down as she was told. Now she was calmed down a little again.

"Peter, what happens if I am pregnant?" She whispered softly. Peter walked over to the bed and sat at the edge.

"Then we'll figure out what you want to do. I am beside you, whatever choice you might make. Do I wish you'll go through with it, yes. But Alicia, I would be by your side even if you should choose not to." He told her softly, looking into her eyes tenderly.

"Peter... what are you saying?" She looked shocked. "I would never have an abortion. That wasn't what I meant. I mean with everything, how can we even make this work. I can't just be your wife and a mother again, ever. I love being a mother but I could never _just_ be a mother again." She whispered, tears gathering in her eyes. Tears Peter quickly reached down and brushed away.

"I would never ask that of you Alicia, never again. I want you to work. And we'll find a way to make that happen even if you are pregnant. Alicia, I'll drop out of the race if you are pregnant so you won't have to worry about being alone with it all. I would drop out anytime for you, pregnant or not, together or not. If that is something between us that is a problem, it is not worth it." He told her lovingly.

"Peter. You can't drop out! I would never forgive myself for being the reason you did that. You would be an amazing governor, and I won't have you drop out, not for me not for anything. But I am so scared for what all of this will mean. For what will happen to me. Pregnancy in my age is not simple, and what if something is wrong with the child? What about all of the risks that are so much higher now than earlier. And Peter, I have not been taking care of myself lately. I have been drinking and working late and not eating well. What if I have already harmed the child? Peter, I am so scared." She was in tears now. Peter was careful with her IV as he placed his arms around her, pulling her in close, rocking her slowly.

"It okay Babe. We'll figure it all out if you really are pregnant. It will all be alright." He whispered softly into her hair.

"What will the kids say? And everyone else?" She whispered softly, her voice broken and scared.

"They'll be okay. Everything will be okay. We'll handle it Alicia, I promise you that. We'll handle it all. "He whispered.

"Will you stay with me?" She whispered after a few minutes where none of them had said anything. "For the night, if I have to stay here. You know I hate hospitals." She mumbled.

"Of course, there is nowhere I'd rather be than with you." He told her with a kiss on her hair. "You are not leaving me?" She breathed out.

"I am not leaving you Alicia." He told her. "It will all be alright." he whispered calmly.

"Thank you. Peter I am not sure if I am ready for more with you which is why this possible pregnancy is also scaring me to death, but thank you for being here and for taking everything so calmly." She told him softly.

"Of course Alicia, of course. Alicia I love you, and I know this is overwhelming but we'll work this out. Even if it means being close friends and co-parents that raise yet another child together but not really together. I am not letting you down Hun, never again will I let you down." he whispered softly.

"Thank you Peter, but I think we should try, I am so scared but I think I might be ready to try even if I am not pregnant. I am just so scared if I let you back in you will hurt me again as bad as last time I was about to go there. And I am not sure I can take it again. I mean I want to trust you, but I fear that the next time I close my eyes you will be in bed with yet another woman. And I am so scared of that. I fear you only want me now because you can't really have me and it is the chase that drives you on. I see that you have changed every day, and it makes it harder not to give in but I am still scared." She admitted softly and worried.

"Oh Alicia. I can't tell you enough how much I regret my past actions. And if you let me I'll make them up to you forever. You are all I want all I need, nothing else matters beside you and the kids. Nothing. And I was a fool, a bastard, not to see that before. But Hun, I know and see that now. You are my world, my everything. I love you so much darling." He placed a kiss on her hair, his voice having grown thick with emotions once again.

"I love you too..." She whispered softly, her voice trembling.

"I know Alicia, I know. And we'll figure all of this out... We'll make everything work, I promise you that. We'll make it work, whatever happens now we'll make it work." He told her tenderly.

"I know I know... come what may, right?" She asked with a hint of a smile in her voice.

"Yes Babe, come what may, I will love you until my dying day. Come what may." He answered teasingly. making her finally let out a little laugh just as there was a knock on the door before it was opened by Dr. Walsh. She smiled gently at them, as she raised an eyebrow at Peter for being on the bed as well.

"It is only supposed to be the patient in the bed." She told with a pointed look as Peter carefully moved away from Alicia and off the bed, standing beside it.

"Okay, I got your test results back." She looked at them.

"So, am I pregnant?" Alicia asked worriedly, while Peter squeezed her hand. Though they had talked he knew she still would prefer by far not having to think about the consequences her being pregnant would have on them and their life. But as she had said only minutes before _come what may!_

Dr. Walsh smiled gently at them before answering Alicia's question.

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_There you go first chapter... please let me know your thoughts._


	2. Ch 2: Two hearts that beat as one

_Okay second chapter of this... damn okay if I am not doing this right I am sorry... I am doing all the research I can to make it more real, but i have never been pregnant myself so it is harder than any other story I have done before._

_I don't own the good wife if I did I would make Peter a regular. _

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_**Two hearts that beat as one**_

She had a hard time truly believing what Dr. Walsh had just told her. It couldn't be. She couldn't be 44 and pregnant with a love child conceived with her estranged husband. No it couldn't be true. She was not supposed to have any more children, that part of her life was over. She had other things to do now, like partnership in her firm something she thought could be coming up very soon, that was what she wanted, that was what she was focused on, not another child. Her kids were college age. She was not supposed to have to start over. How to best feed a child? bottle or nursing and diaper changing was something she was supposed to be confronted for the next time by her grand kids not another child of her own.

A child that she would be more than 60 years old when watching his or hers high school graduation. This was all wrong. A kid that might very well be an aunt or uncle at age 6 or 8 if Zach had kids early, a kid that could be closer age wise to its nieces and nephews than to its own siblings. How could she even go there with these things against her and her baby.

What if the kid had down syndrome, with her age the chances were heightened a lot and that was just one of the many possible birth defects they could suffer from. There was more chances than ever before, and risk of other chromosome disorders. What would she do if she had a child with any of those? Knowing it was her fault for getting pregnant this late, by something as foolish as lowered effect of her birth control pills, and too much sex with her estranged husband. This was as close to ridiculous as it got. She was not some hormonal sex-driven teenager (okay not what she should be thinking when she had two teenagers at home). Yet she was now unplanned pregnant. And her kids what would she even tell them? Yes Peter said they would figure it all out and it would be okay, but there was nothing _okay_ about this. How could she tell her kids that she was pregnant again because she had not been careful enough with protection while having sex.

She should not have to even imagining this. Her life was getting to a place she really wanted it to be. She was happy, she had taken her mom's advice and done what made her happy, well except that her mom would never believe her if she said that being with Peter, and their stolen private erotic, sensual moments was what made her truly happy. Still she was happy, she had been free to do exactly what she wanted, and that she did that with Peter seemed to work perfectly because unlike with Will it didn't seem to make her lose her focus on work or the kids. This had worked out perfectly until she was not careful enough with protection, she cursed herself one more time for this.

Yes, she did want to try with Peter to make things between them work, she had not lied when she said that, but from there and wanting them to try and make it work while dealing with her being pregnant with another child was a long way from what she had imagined or even considered possible.

No this was not good, not good at all. However like she had told Peter a littler earlier she would never have an abortion, shocked he could even mention such a thing. It was a life she had growing inside of her, and though she wasn't thinking it ethically wrong to one, or against abortions, she could never have one herself. She loved her kids too much for that. And no matter how small, it was still a life growing inside of her. No, she could never have an abortion just based on how this was fitting into her life schedule at the moment. She was not even sure if she could do it based on things like illness or other things like that with the child. Things she would unfortunately now have to learn far more about that she ever wanted.

When she was pregnant with Zach and Grace she had still been in her twenties and there had been no reason she should undergo further tests such as amniocentesis or chorionic villous sampling. Tests she knew now she would have to consider going through. Tests she also knew could sometimes hurt the fetus, or heighten the chances of miscarriages, something she knew she was already having a higher risk of, a much higher risk actually. One that was so high it terrified her, she might not want this or have planned this, but still the thought of losing her unborn child was heartbreaking and terribly sad. Almost per instinct she placed a hand over her abdomen, protective of the little life inside of her. The life she had created with Peter _in love_ - no matter how hard she had tried to tell herself that it was just casual sex. A thought that made her smile for the first time since Dr. Walsh confirmed that she was indeed 44 and pregnant. She looked over to where Peter stood. He looked shocked too but far more calm and collected than she felt. He looked at her and gave her a soft smile. Whispering the same words he had told her a little earlier:

"_Come what may"_ She nodded softly and held her hand up hoping he would take it again. He did that, just as Dr. Walsh returned with the ultrasound machine she had gone to get.

"I know it might be too early, since you are only about 7 weeks along but you HcG level was a bit higher than expected with pregnancy, so I would like to do an ultrasound just to check if I can see anything. After all with some you can see it down to the end of the 5th week, and I am hoping that is the case here." She explained, then smiling gently, something she seemed to do all the time. Alicia had yet to see her without that sweet smile. She had thought she had left to go get an OB gyn. and not an ultrasound machine.

"Shouldn't you rather have gotten me a OB doctor instead of an ultrasound." She mumbled, not able to keep her thoughts to herself.

Dr. Walsh let out a soft laugh.

"Do you prefer I go find you a different one? Mrs. Florrick you got nothing to worry about I am the best OB gyn and neonatal surgeon at the hospital. I was only in the E.R. today because they are understaffed. But if you prefer I'd go and find someone else, it can be done." She looked at Alicia and then at Peter.

"No I am sorry. I had no idea." Alicia apologized. She really had not considered that.

"It's okay. But I really would like to do an ultrasound on you if that is okay?" Alicia nodded and laid back down, looking at Peter when she felt him squeeze her hand yet again, before lifting it to his lips and placing a soft kiss on it. She smiled at him, glad that he had managed to come, that he hadn't been in a meeting or something. Or worse been gone to some campaign trip or speech and unavailable. She was not really sure how she would have managed to get through these things so far without him here. He was taking all of this far calmer than she had expected of him. And far calmer than she had.

She wondered briefly if the baby could feel how freaked out she was, if so she hoped it could also feel how calm, collected and caring Peter was. She hesitated for a second before she guided that hand of his she was holding to her abdomen and placed it on top of it. Though she had no sheets over her at the moment as she had already removed them for the ultrasound, it was still covered by the hospital gown she was wearing. However she could still feel the warmth of his palm against her, making her feel calmer and more relaxed in mere seconds. She smiled at the thought, hoping the baby felt like she did with Peter's protective hand on her.

"Okay I need you to move over to this bed. So I can actually do the ultrasound." Dr. Walsh said. Alicia had not seen or heard that a nurse had moved one of those examination tables into the room. She let Peter help her down, being careful with her IV drop she still had in, though she found it ridiculous, she knew it helped her get more fluid down. And truthfully she had had a hard time keeping anything at all down the last few days, though she had not told anyone. It was not until now she knew she had suffered from morning sickness, though someone should shoot the person who named it that. It was a man she was sure of that, only a man could be that stupid to think it only lasted in the morning and not through the day for some women. Peter gently helped her over and up on the table and helped her lie back on it. She smiled up at him focusing on his brown comforting eyes and not on the doctor moving around, getting things ready. She placed her legs as she should when she was told to, but she didn't look away from Peter's face. The smile in his eyes meant everything to her, she had forgotten how much she loved and adored that smile. His eyes so warm, gentle, loving and perfect.

She relaxed her muscles to make the sliding in of the ultrasound wand easier.

"So let's see... Just to be safe it is not sure we will be able to hear the heartbeat just yet but it is far more likely this way than with an external ultrasound." Dr. Walsh explained as she moved the wand around a little inside of Alicia. Alicia looked over at the screen for the first time, not really able to make out anything on the picture. The other woman smiled at her gently as she turned up the sound on the monitor. "There, let's see, yes there is your child, and there..." She paused and listing to the light sound, the sound that was her baby's heartbeat. Alicia felt tears gathering in her eyes again, cursing herself lightly if she was overly emotional this early on, how would she be much later in her pregnancy. She looked up at Peter again, sighing lightly when she found that she wasn't alone at having an emotional reaction to this. She could see light glittering wetness in the corner of his eyes as well. However the next moment she felt anything but close to tears other than those of fear. When she heard another sound one much similar to the first one, just a little faster if possible.

"You better tell me that is the sound of my heart beat and not something else." She looked at the doctor, fear, almost terror painted in her eyes. The doctor looked uncomfortably at her for a moment.

"Please no... please don't say what you are about to tell me... please let it be just my heartbeat and the baby's. It can't be any other thing." Alicia stared at the screen in horror, still not able to make out anything of the weird black and white image. However she could make out the sound of two heartbeats, that she was in no doubt about. Dr. Walsh smiled gently at her as she pointed at the screen.

"This was why I wanted to do the ultrasound, your HcG level was heightened slightly above usually for a normal pregnancy, not enough that I could say it for sure, but enough that I thought it possible. Here this is baby A, and this over here is baby P." Clearly making a slight joke with the name thing as she showed them what she meant on the image though Alicia wasn't able to see anything because of the tears in her eyes. And she certainly was not finding the joke funny at all at the moment, though same joke, because of Peter's humor would be one that would stay through the rest of her pregnancy. One baby was scary and hard and complicated and so not something she thought she could deal with but two. Two was close to her biggest nightmare.

How could she ever do this? Twins at her age, of cause she knew well that there was a heightened chance of multiples with age. And she knew that they normally skipped a generation and her mother had actually had a stillborn twin (probably a good thing, two of her mother in the world was something she wouldn't even want to imagine.) And she knew also very well there were twins on Peter's side too in his father's line, but she had truly thought it would not happen to them, when neither Zach nor Grace had been a twin. Well at least she had thought it might be the case, still her and Peter had not taken any risks after having two kids. Though they loved the kids and had thought about having a third child years ago. However they knew there was the risk of twins in the family so they had decided against it, well she had decided against it, Peter had not minded the thought as much as she had, he had gone on and on about how it could be fun with twins, but she had said stop. That was why she had an IUD for years, so there were no chances of unexpected pregnancies. Yet here she was unplanned pregnant, middle aged, and closer to menopause than to her prime childbearing age, carrying twins. If there was some higher power he was sure playing some cruel tricks on her at the moment, testing her love for children and her sanity.

She looked over at the screen again now able to make out, because of Dr. Walsh guidance, the outlines of the two fetus that in a little less that 8 months would be her children. Children she would hold in her arms and need to tend to at night. Children she would spent the rest of her life worrying that she had possibly screwed them up or not been enough for. Children that she no matter how hopeless she thought this was at the moment, already loved, and knew she would do anything for, because her heart was already beating in time with theirs, because she was their mother.

* * *

_Chapter 2... I hope I can finish writing chapter 3 soon so the wait won't be that long. Please let me know your thoughts. _


	3. Ch 3: It's a crazy world

_Okay I know this is a surprise with where I left you last time and that it won't be moving things along with Peter and Alicia alone, and the start of the chapter is not Alicia/Peter. This chapter is another set up, it is also partly written for those of you that reads this but don't know Grey's Anatomy or Private Practice. This story is not a x-over, however Alicia's doctor is based on a character in those shows, and I will be using her past story too. However since many won't know it, I am going to through the story explaining that story too for it all to make sense. _

_I don't own The Good Wife, and I really don't own Dr. Addison Walsh though I changed her last name from Grey's and PP. _

_If you don't watch those shows and want a picture of who the woman is. Look up Kate Walsh on Google, she is rather important in this story. _

_Also a friend wrote to me and told me she was having a bad day so this is posted so soon after the last for her.  
_

* * *

_**It's a crazy world**_

She walked through the halls pushing the ultrasound machine she had just used. She understood why the couple was shocked, yes scared. She had heard enough about them in the news to know they already had two kids, teenagers as far as she remembered. Still she was a little bit jealous every time she had to give these news to yet another couple. She wanted a kid and it seemed like the thing she wouldn't be having - along with a man. She was a good looking woman she knew that. Yet, it seemed that those men that used to love her both had fallen out of love with her and moved on to someone else. What wouldn't she had given for having Derek look at her like Alicia Florrick still looked at her husband even with what he had done to her. But no he looked at Meredith like that now. She shook her head trying to get rid of these thoughts.

She had not seen the stain of water on the floor and the next thing she knew she was flat on her back. A hand was held out for her she grabbed letting whoever it was help her up again.

"Are you okay?" the person asked, making her look up, she recognized the voice and the person it belong to. It was the guy that had been with Mrs. Florrick when she first came in and he had obviously waited around.

"Yeah thank you. I just didn't see the water." She smiled at him, unlike the ones she gave her patients all day which were not really fake smiles just smiles meant to make them feel good and comfortable. This however was a real honest smile.

He nodded.

"Yeah, rain outside, I guess that is what makes these floors so wet." He commented.

"You are still around? I thought you had left a couple of hours ago?" She asked, he looked confused for a moment, making her realize he didn't recognize her at all. _Of course Addie, he is hanging around for another woman, why should he._

"Oh... you were Alicia's doctor, sorry, the last couple of hours have been a bit stressed. I got a case related to the hospital." He explained.

"Oh a case, are you a doctor?" Addie asked confused, making him shake his head.

"No, no I am a lawyer but the hospital has been a client of ours for years. I was actually looking for a doctor, do you know where I could find a doctor Walsh? I need to talk with him about some patients of his." He told her.

"Well you are looking at _her_. I am doctor Walsh, Addison Walsh. What patients of mine?" She asked him suspiciously.

"I am sorry. As I said, the last few hours have been busy and confusing. I am Will Gardner, partner at Lockheart and Gardner." He smiled friendly at her, and held out his hand once more for her. This time to shake.

"Dr. Addison Walsh, chief for OB gyn. and neonatal surgery. What is this about?" She inquired.

"Umm Donovan, Jackson, Carmichael and Lawson. They are suing the hospital, do you have an office we could go talk in?" He asked. Addison nodded her head, just what she needed today, a lawsuit. She wondered what it was about, she knew all cases and didn't remember anything that could have been an issue.

"Yes of course this way." "Trisha." She called out to a nurse motioning in the direction of the ultrasound machine, before she let Will in the direction of her office.

* * *

"Could you please look a little less happy and grinning?" Peter was pulled out from his thoughts by Alicia's sharp voice.

The smile that had been playing on his face left right away. Of course he was worried and surprised over these news, but he was far more happy and excited actually. Clearly far more happy than Alicia was. She was worried, yes terrified, he could read that on her face.

He wished he had something he could say that would convince her it would be okay, that it all would be alright in the end, but he didn't have that. Still he found it so hard not to be happy and excited like he had the two other times he found out that they were expecting. Sure this was unplanned and bad timing to say the least, but the thought of how he would in under 8 months be holding their child, children he corrected himself, was thrilling. Yes it was also terrifying but he would hold their children. He loved Zach and Grace so much, and wished he had not spent so much time at work and at other things and instead spent more time with them. He would do that now, this time around he knew that Alicia and their family were the most important thing, they were what mattered to him and made him truly happy. He would focus his time on them, he had meant it when he offered to drop out of the race right away just by the thought of her expecting a child and he would do it in a heartbeat if she as much as said the words. Now he looked over at her taking in the fear and weariness painted on her face. He walked back over beside her bed pulling up a chair and taking a seat as he took her hand in his, stroking it lightly.

"Alicia..." He whispered gently.

"There is really nothing to be smiling about Peter. Twins. One child is hard enough in our age. I am 44 Peter, and you 10 years older. Twins Peter, this is crazy. How can we even think of doing this?" Her voice was so serious and scared it made him somber and serious as well.

"Alicia, I meant what I said when I told you I was beside you whatever you want to do, even if that choice is abortion. I will be there love, I will be there holding your hand." He told her gently, squeezing her hand a little.

"Peter I meant it when I said I am not having an abortion. I could never do that. But I am so scared, I am feeling so overwhelmed. How can we ever do this?" She whispered her voice growing thicker once more due to the emotions she was feeling.

"We'll do it by taking one day at a time, one thing at a time, Hun. Is this scary and terrifying? - Yes, but we can do it. I am not saying it will be easy. I know it won't but we can do it Alicia. You can do it. You are the strongest and most loving person I know. If anyone can do it, it is you." He smiled at her and stood up leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on her lips. She smiled against his lips. Her eyes were happier as he pulled away again. "Feeling more confident now?" He asked.

"Not really. Just can't wait to see when they are crying at night and I wake you up because YOUR babies need a changing or a feeding." She was smirking at him now, making him groan lightly, because he had no doubt she would do it. With Zach and Grace he had gotten up from time to time, however since he would need to go to work in the morning Alicia had usually done it herself, so he could sleep. However he knew this time would be different and he owed her to make it different this time. If that meant he would get up every night to tend to their children he would happily do it as long as she was okay and happy.

"As you wish dear. Whatever you want." He told her softly.

"Anything?" She smiled at him, and he already knew just from that smile that whatever came now would be something he would hate to give her, and would want to say no to. But what could he do, he already had the sins of a lifetime to make up to her, and now she was carrying his children, their twins.

"Anything!" He promised.

"Good, then take me home now." She smiled at him, making Peter roll his eyes. She had gotten him exactly like she wanted and had planned, his sneaky wife.

"I can't Alicia. The doctor said you had to stay." He explained, hoping she would accept it.

"You said anything I wanted. Peter what I want is to go home. I want to sleep in my own bed, in my own clothes and I want to see the kids and remember that I have already done it, that I can do it again. That I didn't screw them completely up. Peter please take me home, I hate hospitals. You can spend the night, I will eat and rest and not go back to work tomorrow just please, take me home." She was begging him now, pleading with him, and pulling her puppy dog eyes at him. Eyes she knew he had a hard time resisting. He let out a deep breath. She could rest in the apartment, and he could make sure she ate, drank and took care of herself. Dr. Walsh had already set up another appointment with her in the beginning of next week. And she did need rest, rest where she actually slept and he knew there was next to no chance of that happening while still in the hospital. He looked at her IV fluid bag, there wasn't much left in it now, maybe he could make her a deal.

"Okay I will go find a nurse and a doctor and talk with them about taking you home tonight but, and I mean this, only if you agree to stay until your IV-bag is finished." He looked her in the eyes, letting her know how serious he was with this. She nodded smiling, relief shining in her eyes.

He shook his head at her, she truly was hopeless when it came to hospitals.

* * *

"I am sorry Mr. Gardner but I need to cut this short." Addison held up her beeper, indicating why she needed to cut the meeting short so suddenly. Though the meeting was important to both her and her legacy and the hospital. She looked at the number of the room she was being called to, almost shaking her head. The world was truly a mystery with these things. The woman Will Gardner had come in with was beeping her now.

"Oh duty calls? Well I think I got most of what I need anyway. But would you be able to drop by the office tomorrow? Just to finish up these first details." He smiled at her, and Addison nodded.

"Of course, not a problem. But you are welcome to hang around and we can finish this in a little while. I am technically off now, just a patient I need to check up on." She told him._ Okay Addie that sounded way too much of a hint of a date, not just a meeting with your lawyer. _ She thought to herself, trying to shake the idea out of her head. The guy had issues, hung up on a married woman it seemed, one that was now expecting kids with her husband yet again, and clearly committed to making it work with the husband. She should really not be getting into any of that. He looked at her for a moment, then nodded.

"What do you say to this? I go down and wait in the cafeteria getting us some coffee and you can join me when done with your patient?" He gave her another smile, almost a boyish grin, making her just a little weak in the knees, wondering if Mrs. Florrick had at some point felt like that because of that smile, and that was the reason he still was hung up on the other woman.

"Sounds good but maybe take the coffee-shop just around the corner of the hospital. Hospital food is terrible and their coffee in the cafeteria is not much better." She joked with him, making him laugh a little.

"Okay, got it. I'll go wait for you there. While you look after your patient." He nodded and stood up following her out of the office.

As Addison hurried through the hallways back to Mrs. Florrick's room she wondered if it was very wrong to date your lawyer while still a client. If so, she hoped they would be able to settle this lawsuit soon. After all she could not say much about him yet but she doubted he would stay pining over Alicia Florrick when he realized that she seemed to be getting back together with her husband.

Or rather seemed to be back together with him, she corrected herself as she walked into the hospital room finding the state's attorney leaning over his wife, kissing her gently.

"So, you needed me here?" She interrupted them, making them pull back in shock. If it had been patients she knew better, she would have made a joke about if this was really what they should be doing since it seemed to be what got them here in the first place.

"Yes, my wife would like to go home, we talked to a nurse and she said we would need to ask you." Mr. Florrick explained. Addison nodded, she was not surprised this was it. She had already seen how little Mrs. Florrick liked to stay here, and she had almost guessed it would be brought up before long. She nodded her head slowly.

"I see. Well technically there is nothing really against it, as long as you rest for the next days because of your concussion. Your vitals are stable, your blood pressure which we checked a little earlier is a little on the high side but not terribly bad. Really if you prefer to go home and promise you will come back if you feel bad at all. You did after all fall down. You don't feel any cramping or anything at the moment right?" She asked her, knowing that there was a minor chance that just this fall could have coursed a miscarriage if she had landed wrongly, and she did suffer from a minor concussion, so she might have. This was the real reason she preferred to keep her overnight, but hours had passed already and Mrs. Florrick's vitals were perfectly in order.

"No, I don't. Nothing at all." She answered, getting a pointed look form her husband. "I really don't Peter. I would say if I did. I wouldn't want to risk anything." She added. Addison nodded.

"Good, then I'll sign you out. As long as you keep the appointment we have made for Monday everything should be fine. Then we'll do another ultrasound and your blood-pressure and talk about some light exercising for you, and other regular things for a checkup." She smiled at them and started type up a few things in the file.

"I can go home?" Alicia Florrick asked her, suddenly smiling.

"Yes you can go home!" She nodded and smiled back at the other woman, while wondering how long it would take her to finish up here so she could go and enjoy her coffee.

* * *

_Okay I am sad to say I haven't yet written the next chapter I hope I will soon so I won't leave you hanging for long... especially because this chapter had so little AP in it. I promise this won't be the case most of the time. However as I explained I am tryign to set a side story line up. Anyway I would still love to hear your thoughts please._

_Also thank you for all the lovely reviews I am getting keeps me writing and going. Next chapter I will try and answer personal to eahc one...  
_

_A reviewer asked if I knew the names for the twins yet. The answer is I have ideas but nothing decide yet. So be more than welcome to tell me your ideas for names... I won't tell you the sex of the babies though so I need both boy's and girls names... and I need both first and middle names for them...  
_


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